It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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