okay pat passed out under dana's car
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
