ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
