his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
