My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize