y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
