Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
