Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
