She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
