Your dad touched me again.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
