Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the condom got lost in my hair
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
