so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The adults are the big ones right?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
