you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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