two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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