He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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