I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
