I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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