My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
