I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize