Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
