I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
