I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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