College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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