WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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