Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
