It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
