Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
