I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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