...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
