11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
