i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
