OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
