Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
