no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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