My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you win again, gameday.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
