Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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