his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I party with great urgency now.
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