it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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