Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
