After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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