11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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