okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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