I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize