addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
