Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
