I think i peed on brittanys purse
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
