Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
