I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he fucked my hip out of place.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
