kristin has been a bad kristin
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
