honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Redeem this text for a blowjob
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
