i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
