Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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