Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize