dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
either way he was missing a nipple.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
