No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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