Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize