drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
