my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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